My frustration with religious prescriptions is well documented. Following my online commentary leaves one with the sense that while I don’t begrudge sommeone having their beliefs, I don’t suffer morality as a valid base for social strictures. Religion has had thousands of years to move us past the barbarism of scarcity and conflict but has failed miserably. This is why I fight for a secular government based on secular principles.

I actually like hanging out with fundies (fundamentalist charismatic/ born-again christians), especially the couples that are my age and already married. Naomi and I spent some time down in SA with a group of people in said situation and I found their approach to sex and partnership quite refreshing. It helped that they were all exceedingly attractive and that I could easily imagine the explosive force of their wedding night.

So now that I’ve explained that ’some of my best friends are christians’, I’m allowed to say whatever horrible things I want to about them.

Imagine my dismay when I found out that the gorgeous russian mother/daughter duo from down the hallway are born again chrisitans. Up till that point they’d lived at the Orient for a few months without uttering more than a few words at a time to me. In their first prolonged conversation with me they not only explained that they were born again bible bashers, they also explained that:

• Jesus hated me for masturbating, but if I stopped now I might still have time to repent,
• I was not allowed to marry Naomi because she was born again and I wasn’t (once was enough thank you very much)
• My listening to non-christian music offended Jesus
• My grey hair was a sign that Jesus was displeased with me
• Just because I don’t believe in hell doesn’t mean I’m  not going there anyway
• Living with Naomi before we’re married is a sin and I need to move out right at that instant

None of this would have bothered me if it wasn’t for the mother’s facial expression during the conversation. The underlying tone was ‘I’m sorry your heathen upbringing failed to inform you of all this but now that you know I’m sure you’ll change right away’. Meanwhile the daughter was looking more than a little embarrassed about the tongue-lashing I’d sat through. Maybe there’s some hope for her after all.