Stilgherrian tugged at the loose and threadbare lap sash that only barely held him to the car seat.

“I get it that Meloni is late for work,” he said as the car swerved violently to avoid a pensioner, “but why do we need six people in the car to get him there?” Websinthe turned away from the steering wheel and looked at Stil.

“Good God man, can’t you be more supportive? This man needs our help!” His speech was slightly muffled by the herbal cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Oncoming traffic started mashing down their horns as the car drifted into the wrong lane.

“Holy fucking hell!” He shouted. The herbal was still tucked tightly between his pursed lips.

“I thought we we’re going to Starbuck’s.” said Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU.

Coljac turned to Stil. “It’s a solidarity thing Stil. I’ll tell you about it when you’re older.”

“Are you shitting me Col? I’m almost a decade older than you!”

“Oh really?” Coljac looked confused. “Then you tell me.”

“I just said I don’t know!”

“Oh Fuck me sideways!” Websinthe yelled as he yanked the wheel hard to avoid another pensioner.

Meloni sat shotgun, knees tucked under his chin and sobbing. He turned to Stilgherrian and Coljac as they argued. “Why can’t you two just be nice to each other?” He wailed, tears pissing down his face.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Stilgherrian cried. His voice raised an octave on the last syllable, prompting a raised eyebrow from Taezer.

Websinthe took his eyes off the road again. This time one hand left the wheel as well, index finger jabbed in the direction of the weeping Meloni. “Jesus Fuck Stihl! Why can’t you think of the children for once?”

Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU sat in the back seat with Taezar. In his left hand was an iPhone, his right hand held an HTC and he had a USB pen held between his teeth. He looked up with inquiring eyes.

“Has anyone heard of the new touch screen phone that Boeing is bringing out?” He asked.

Taezar peeled her eyes away from her night vision glasses, her irises contracted into twin singularities from intensity of amplified daylight.

“I SEE GOD” she said. Her voice boomed like the death of a thousand suns and obliterated every window in the car. Meloni started wailing again. Coljac leaned forward and started stroking Meloni’s hair in an attempt to comfort him.

Bernadette McMenamin shot a dissaproving glare from the footpath as they sped past.

Stil held on to the lap sash so tight that it snapped. His mouth dropped into a desperate pitch of dismay as he looked at the snapped ends of the sash.

“Who owns this piece of shit?” he begged.

Websinthe kept his eyes on the road this time. “Does that really  matter Stil? Does it?” the herbal still hung unlit from his lips. “All I know is that we’re all going to jail for this.”

Coljac sat up straight, his smile beaming from ear to ear. “Oh good, we’ll get to see Clive again.” he said, clapping excitedly.

A collective wail of anguish filled the car. Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU clutched his three phones to his chest protectively. One of the phones beeped harshly.

“Hey Stil. Today’s Crikey just came through.” he said.

“My porn!” Stil roared as he launched himself into the backseat. He grabbed the phone and began reading as he curled up on Taezar’s lap.

Coljac reached back and grabbed the scruff of Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU’s shirt.

“That was awesome!” he yelled.

They all lurched forward as Websinthe flattened the brake pedal. The wheels screeched and the car began to slide. It stopped directly outside Meloni’s work. Websinthe was out the door immediately. He got to Meloni’s door before it was opened from the inside and yanked the weeping man out through the window.

Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU came up from behind and started carrying Meloni over his shoulder as Websinthe threw himself bodily through the reception’s front window. Shards and blood scattered across the front desk.

Websinthe rolled and kept running into the office proper screaming for everyone to “get the fuck down” and that it was “hammer time.” Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU burst in with Meloni over his shoulder just seconds later. He threw Meloni down on his desk.

“I’m here! It’s okay! I’m sorry I’m late!” Meloni yelled at the skirt walking past.

His boss strode up to Meloni’s desk, looking direly unimpressed. “I’m sick of your shit Meloni. I’m fired.” said the boss.

The boss broke into sobs and ran from the room with his face in his hands. Meloni, Ben Grubb from TechWiredAU, Stilgherrian, Coljac, Taezar and the bleeding and disfigured Websinthe all shot their hands into the air screaming…

“YAY! PIZZA DAY!”

Fin